GREAT NEWS!!

Our kids Tim and Kim in Regina just phoned tonight with wonderful news. Kim was to have an appointment with her oncologist tomorrow to get the results of her most recent bone scan and CT scan, so she's been on "pins and needles"--especially since both Bob and Jim have passed away from their cancers recently. Although her prognosis has always been much better, she naturally has been wondering whether she's "next" in the lineup to heaven.

Well, the nurse phoned today to reschedule Kim's appointment to Monday and Kim asked if she could give her the results of the tests on the phone and was told once again that she's ALL CLEAR!!! Isn't that just the most awesome news?? Just had to share it with you all so you can rejoice with us too and give thanks to the Lord.

I've been home now for a week, experiencing for the first time the full reality of Bob's passing. I'm missing him so much and the joy of sharing our lives together--just the very ordinary things that made our lives so rich--like conversation, eating together, reading and praying, going for walks, marvelling at the goodness of the Lord to us, dreaming about the future, and of course sharing the same bed. It's so true that God made us to have relationships and I'm so grateful for good friends and family who check in with me and remind me daily of their commitment to be present in my life.

I'm flying to Regina on Tuesday for a week and it will be SO good to be with our precious kids and grandkids. When I return, Bob's two sisters Vi and Lois are joining me for a three-day "Special Sisters" time in Victoria!! And later in June I plan to visit our kids in western NY and some good friends and cousins in ON. So my times alone at home will be nicely spaced with time away with family. I feel so very blessed!!

Jim's Memorial Service

Jim's Memorial Service took place on Saturday afternoon, April 27 at Jim and Kim's church, Lake Avenue Congregational Church in Pasadena. It really was an uplifting service of tribute to Jim and honour to the Lord. Mom and Dad would have loved to have been able to come from OKC, but just weren't able to make the trip.

Here are my sister Barb and me with a picture of our wonderful brother. Jim was four years older than I and six years older than Barb. He passed away exactly two months before his 69th birthday.



And here we are with Jim's wife Kim and his beloved stepdaughters Nicole and her husband Thomas (on the left) and Amanda and her husband Kevin (on the right).

For many months now Jim had intended to drive Mom and Dad's car from California out to Oklahoma, as it was full of boxes of things they wanted to bring along when they made the move. He was hoping to be better by June so that he and I could possibly make the trip together, but that was not to be. So Barb and I left southern California early on Sunday morning and drove out to OK, arriving early this afternoon--in a day and a half!! We had many hours in the car to process all that has happened, share memories with grateful hearts, and to reaffirm our absolute confidence in God's will and ways even in the light of Jim's illness and death. Heaven is more attractive than ever before now that both Bob and Jim are there!!

Dad no longer drives due to vision problems, but their comfortable Cadillac will be an extra set of "wheels" for anyone in the family needing them--particularly when I come down to visit!!

I had intended to fly up to Regina this week to spend some time with our kids and grandkids there, but once again changed my plans and will be flying home to BC on Wednesday evening. I'm feeling more than ever the need to be at home and more fully come to terms with my life now without Bob. Being surrounded so much by family and friends has been great, but that and also being constantly on the move, has shielded me somewhat from sensing the reality of losing my most precious lifelong companion.

We all are SO grateful for your love, support, and prayers for us as a family and for the many expressions of sympathy and appreciation for both Bob and Jim.

Jim and Bob are now together in heaven!!

This morning at 7:00 am, my brother Jim entered the presence of Jesus and I'm sure that Bob was welcoming him with open arms!!

What a journey this has been. In the middle of the night, as Jim was having such labored breathing with distress in his throat, I just cried out to the Lord for mercy--for myself as much as Jim. I just didn't think I could endure one more night watching a loved one struggle for life!!

By 3:30 am Kim, Barb, and I gathered around Jim sensing that he was nearing the gates of heaven. An hour later Barb phoned the hospice home-care nurse who came over to the house and was tremendously helpful in every way. She had visited us earlier yesterday afternoon and there was such a wonderful bond between her and all of us. She also is a woman of strong Christian faith--in the Catholic tradition.

The scene was very similar to the one in our living room almost exactly seven weeks ago. Four of Jim's favorite women were gathered around him, telling him how much we loved him and were ready to release him to Jesus. At that point our nurse suggested we sing, so we sang "Amazing Grace" and "Jesus Loves Me this I Know".

Thank you SO VERY MUCH for your love and prayers. You have walked with us on our journey and we're so grateful. The Lord has blessed us with such a wonderful family and friendship network--and an awesome God!!

My brother Jim

Just as I was thinking that it may be time to "close the book" on Bob's and my blog, I am realizing that it's still a source of information and a continued means of requesting prayer for my brother Jim.

I arrived in California on Friday afternoon to be with Jim and Kim in what may be the final days/weeks of Jim's life. He is so very thin and weak, given his inability to ingest much nutrition and the build-up of fluid in his lungs and abdominal cavity. He coughs so much which disturbs his sleep (and ours) and makes him weaker.

My sister Barb arrived yesterday, and the two of us plan to be here for a week before driving Dad and Mom's car back to OK. All of this is dependent on Jim's situation of course.

Jim's two step-daughters, are also coming. Nicole lives just an hour north of here and spent a few days here this week before I arrived, and Amanda is flying here on Thursday for ten days from NYC. Nicole's coming back today and will check in frequently. She's the ultimate organizer and is producing spreadsheets regarding Jim's care and contact information!!

As it was in Bob's final weeks, many friends are coming by to say "good-bye" (without actually saying it) and express their love and appreciation for him. It's so touching to witness these special moments and to have devotions with Jim and Kim and hear Jim pray--and Kim too.

Some very good friends from youth group days way back in the 60's came by to visit yesterday. We were all teenagers then and could never imagine the day we'd all be growing old and "gray". We had some good laughs as well as more sober moments as we all through Jim are forced to face our own mortality. But, what a grand reunion we'll have in heaven and I doubt we'll have gray hair there!!



Thanks for your continued love, support, and prayers. This is all feeling strangely familiar having just experienced the walk through the valley of the shadow with Bob. At times I just want to go home and rest and more directly process Bob's death, but I know that this is where I'm supposed to be, so the Lord will give me (and all of us) strength.

Barb and I slept together last evening and had a wonderful conversation in the middle of the night. We were marvelling at how amazing it is that our family continues to receive God's strength, peace, and such a profound sense of His presence and good purposes being accomplished through all of this. It's still hard, but God's getting us through better than we could have ever imagined.

I'll continue to post an update every few days for those who want to follow our journey.

Heading for California

Just a short update to let you know that I'm flying to California tomorrow to be with my brother Jim and his wife Kim for an indefinite period of time. My sister Barb will join us in a few days.

It seems that the Lord is asking our family to walk through the valley of the shadow of death once again. But the good news is that HE IS WITH US, so we need not fear, but be assured that He has prepared a place where we will dwell with Him forever!!

It brings such a smile to my face when I imagine Bob welcoming Jim into heaven!!

I've been in OK with my mom and dad for almost a week. They would so much love to see Jim but won't be able to go. This picture was taken on Sunday.



Thanks for your prayers for them and all of us.

Packing for my trip

Tonight I'm doing a job I've not often done before--pack my own suitcase!! Bob was the best packer in the world and would just tell me to spread all my clothes out on the bed and he'd pack them (perfectly, I might add) in the suitcase. I'm sure that when I unpack upon my arrival in OK tomorrow evening, there will be more wrinkles and jostling around of the contents than there ever was when Bob packed!! Oh how I miss him.

Of course he always packed his own suitcase, except on the last trip he took--on March the 5th. There was no need to gather his clothing and belongings as he would have no need of them. But a week or so later, I spread all of HIS clothes out on the bed and David and Tim gathered around the bed and tried their dad's clothes on and chose what they wanted--and each of them acquired a wonderful new wardrobe!! Bob really was a "snappy" dresser, as Barbie always said.




It's amazing that all of the shirts, sweaters, jackets, and even the shoes fit both boys!! David even inherited a couple of suits, after a little alteration in the waist of the slacks. Both of them are wearing their dad's clothes with a sense of honour, and receiving compliments on their good taste (or their dad's!!). But the sweetest outcome of this is that our grandchildren love to nuzzle their little noses into the fabric and remark with joy that they can smell "Papa"!!

In an earlier post on the blog I mentioned our granddaughter Gracyn's tears over her Papa's death, but also her delight at buying a brand new dress for Papa's funeral. Here she is dressed like a little princess that day, along with her little sister Mykenna.



Aren't they adorable?--and their mommy too!!

Please continue to pray for Kim. Although her oncologist pronounced her "cancer free" at her last check-up, she lives with the nagging fear that it may return. Every little ache or pain unsettles her, understandably so.

My brother Jim still needs prayer too. He was hoping to come up here for Bob's Memorial Service but hasn't been feeling well at all. He's having trouble eating and digesting his food and is down to 120 pounds!! He spent four days in the hospital last week as a CT scan revealed a blood clot near his heart as well as fluid on both his lungs and his abdomen. The fluid was drained and will be examined and he's on blood thinners to help dissolve the clot.

Thanks for continuing to support and pray for both Kim and Jim.

After spending a week with Mom and Dad in OK, I'll be flying to Regina for another week. Oh joy, oh delight!! I've had five days totally on my own, which I've really needed--to begin to process the reality of life without Bob. That will take a very long time I'm sure, but I'm happy now to once again be engaged with family, savouring every moment as a gift, just as Bob and I savoured every moment together in these past two years.

A lifetime of memories and making new ones

This was the table of specially selected memorabalia from Bob's life which were displayed in the foyer of the church--things like family pictures; a treble clef; books we read as a family; Bob's cap and gown and framed pictures of CBC/CTS in Regina; books on leadership, board governance, mentoring, spiritual growth, and of course "Roberts Rules of Order"; a gavel given to him by the Accrediting Association of Bible Colleges; a wood carving of an elephant (which is a story in itself--the large ears symbolic of Bob's unique "listening skills"); his Bible; a pot of our precious "Rosebuds"; and then a book we gave our grandchildren a year ago entitled "Someday Heaven"--to help prepare them for Papa's passing; and finally the bold assurance of the reality of his presence now in HEAVEN.

Glenn Brooks, former CBC grad and friend, created the Pictorial Tribute which was shown at the service and can be seen on the "vimeo" recording. That was a wonderful "museum of memories"--especially for our family.

We made so many wonderful new memories as a family as we gathered together for many days following the Memorial Service. Some good friends made available to us a large home on a ranch just 20 minutes from White Rock. All of our children and grandchildren slept there and every evening for five nights anywhere from 14 to 45 of us gathered there for dinner and the evening. Ladies from our church provided fabulously delicious meals for us every single evening!! We felt so loved and blessed!!





Our daughter-in-law Ann's parents, Mun and Esther Park, even came from Toronto.



The Thiessen family--Bob's sister Lois and her husband Duane, son Matt and Rachel with their two little girls Gabby and Sophia, and daughters Alison and Anita



The Becker-Bouma family--Bob's sister Vi and her husband Jerry, Vi's son Bart, and Jerry's son Burke and his wife Tanea, and his daughter Carrah



Bob's Auntie Ruth Thomas and two of her children--Wendy, and Ian and his wife Glenys and three of their five children--Bronte, Rhys, and Eliza



Bob's cousin Lyle Gabrielson and his wife Elaine with Lois and Duane



My cousin Bill Parsons from Gibson's

What wonderful memories we made as we ate together, played games, and shared our lives and dreams with one another. We have an amazing legacy that we want to preserve for the next generations, so have decided to plan annual family gatherings from now on!!




These are just a sampling of the wonderful time we had together.



But . . . we so much missed our dad, papa, brother, uncle, cousin, friend, and my beloved Bob!! We couldn't help but wonder what he was experiencing in heaven at the same time--whether he could see us and feel a part of the gathering and feel our love. We all certainly carried him in our hearts.


Just two days before Bob passed away, we were talking about heaven with our nurse friends Jill and Chris, and also the home care nurse who came to visit for the first time. The Bible gives us glimpses of what heaven will be like and we were imagining what God has prepared for us. At one point Bob mentioned a quote from the concluding page of C.S. Lewis' book "The Last Battle", the final book in his Narnia series, that alludes to heaven. I went to take the book off the shelf and found the section Bob was referring to and read it aloud:

"And as He (Aslan) spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the thìngs that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever; in which every chapter is better than the one before."

Wow!! The wonder that awaits those who know Jesus. Bob's experiencing that right now--and it's even better than our family gathering last week!!