Since Carol does all the driving now, it wasn't unusual for her to be slipping in behind the wheel, with me on the passenger side, returning from a recent Dr's. appointment. In her effervescent way she exclaimed, "Isn't it great that there was nothing there!!" The only slightly disturbing part of this picture is that we were talking about a CT Scan of my brain/head. And yes it was good news that there was nothing there that could be suggest the spread of cancer to that area of my body--just another precautionary assessment ordered by our watchful doctor.
Sometimes the journey I'm on brings humour, sometimes faith, and it's amazing how close these first cousins are in the illness family.
Our grandson Billy sent me an email the other day. "Hey Papa, Hope you're going to feel really better and maybe last for like another, I don't know. Lot's of years would be better. Very very better." And on another occasion, "Do you still have the cancer in your body? Are you getting drugs? I hope you are gonna get better, our prayers still have you in our mouths." Nothing jaded or cynical here, just the ongoing language of faith and longing and "in the mouth" of my 8-year-old grandson! Does it get any better than this?
The past couple of weeks has had me adjusting to pain medication in the morphine family in an effort to get a benchmark for future increases/decreases in the medication. It has brought moments of laughter for Carol and me as I try to process the drug-induced "real" world and the real, real world. I've said some pretty stupid things, done some equally crazy things that would embarrass me to no end if I had known they were happening at the time. In reality they do make me feel embarrassed even now when I think of them, but I hope the nurses and staff got a laugh out of them. I did--ultimately, and of course Carol did--immediately. Bottom line of this is that I am pain free most of the time--which is a great blessing.
I began chemotherapy again last week and, depending on how my body responds, could be on for as long as 21 weeks (one treatment every three weeks). Thank God I do not respond to the chemo with severe side effects. We are also taking a proactive step in the world of non-traditional medicine. We believe God has led us to a trustworthy person who will help us profit from the natural substances and processes that will help my body do what the body is intended to do, healing itself once the right conditions have been restored.
May God give us all the right mixture of faith, humour, reactive and proactive responses to the journey he is leading us along.